Watch Keeping up with the Kardashians for a Better Body Image
It has probably been over ten years since I was actually happy with my body. Back then, I didn’t have a clue what a perky butt or 11-line abs looked like and I didn’t care. I was a normal young girl who felt pretty good about her body shape and wasn’t afraid to wear a bikini — blissfully ignorant of society’s beauty standards. The rise of Instagram influencers completely ruined my positive body image, and strangely enough, Keeping up with the Kardashians is restoring it.
Disclaimer: I’ve only watched the first four seasons so far so I can’t talk about what’s coming next (and how they change their appearances — which may not be beneficial to watch).
Women Versus Influencers
In my mind, there are two types of women. Normally shaped women I see all around me who — even though they might like to lose a few pounds — are fairly happy with what they look like. Then there are the women who are always working on their bodies and consistently prioritize their healthy lifestyle. I’m talking fitness gurus, models, health influencers, you name it. Most of them are either really thin or muscular with perfectly shaped curves. I wish my mind weren’t so black-and-white because the world is one big gray zone, but this mindset is the product of spending years and years consuming content around fitness and health. Ironically, it is not healthy to think like this and it wrecks your body image.
When I was young, my beauty standards were linked to what I call “normal women”. I don’t remember anyone aspiring to be like models or fitness gurus. In my environment, they were even considered “too skinny” or “too muscular”. It was a wonderful time of peace and ignorance I am desperate to get back.
Higher Standards, Lower Body Image
This mindset started to develop around the time I turned seventeen. I entered the world of social media and this new healthy woman showed up. A type of woman that was always exercising and/or dieting, never perfectly satisfied because there was always a spot of cellulite to reduce or a muscle to enhance. The more I scrolled, the more this new way of living and looking got imprinted in my head. They say you become what you surround yourself with and it’s one hundred percent true — even virtually. The more I checked Instagram and Youtube and “surrounded” myself with body-focused influencers, the more I took on their standards.
I started seeing cellulite I never knew I had before, a stomach everyone said was flat suddenly didn’t have enough definition, and my “big butt” that boys supposedly liked turned out to be a saggy mess.
I went from categorizing myself as a “normal girl” to one that had to meet those beauty standards and was severely lacking. My state of blissful ignorance was completely gone, and it hasn’t returned since.
Like many girls, I slowly developed body dysmorphia and an eating disorder that seemed innocent at the start. I was constantly checking my body for progress and restricted my diet for years, which caused binge-and-purge cycles over and over again. The obsession was — and still is — real. I’m a perfectionist at heart and the idea of settling for a body that doesn’t meet my standards is just not an option. I have tried settling for less before but I always end up feeling so uncomfortable I have to take action to change it. It either becomes obsessively dieting or obsessively working out, my brain can’t seem to catch a break.
So This Is What a Woman Looks Like
I have tried deleting Instagram and watching fewer Influencer Youtube videos, and have made some progress, but it hasn’t helped me fully break my unhealthy mindset yet. When I started watching Keeping up with the Kardashians a few months ago, I thought it would simply be brainless entertainment after work. Little did I know, that was going to be a big turning point in my mental health. I got to know the type of woman who was in the spotlight, did not have a “perfect” body but was actually proud of it. That woman did not yet exist in my mind. Hello, gray.
My butt has always been a smaller version of Kim’s but with at least as much cellulite and the same level of perkiness. I spent the last ten years feeling insecure about it, and she considers it her biggest asset (my assumption). Watching this show is putting an enormous dent in my black-and-white mindset and showing me it’s actually possible to have a body like mine and be proud of it, even when it’s not perfectly shaped at all times.
Living with a New Body Image
You’d think that by simply shifting my body standards, the game would be won. Not so fast, I’m afraid. I’m currently in a state called cognitive dissonance. It occurs when you have conflicting attitudes, behaviors, or beliefs — like your brain is in the middle of changing its mindset and it’s constantly battling itself to figure out which belief is going to win. It’s not that easy to change your body standards and body image to a newer, positive one. It’s definitely not an overnight process.
What’s currently happening is I feel myself becoming less strict with my diet and workout schedule without feeling guilty, making genuine progress to a better body image. This tends to last for a few days until major discomfort pops up. I can’t take this feeling so I need to work out a lot and eat clean to compensate. This is the cycle that’s going on; my brain doesn’t really know where it’s at and hasn’t found a new balance yet. I do know I’m on the right track and I’m looking for as many examples — like the Kardashians — to help me make peace with my body.
Takeaway
Changing your body image is no easy task. First of all, you have to understand your unhealthy mindset and realize where it’s coming from — or who it’s coming from. Once you do that, you can find new role models or a different environment that will help you discover new ways of thinking, break your current mindset, and help build a better body image. In my case, this process started by watching Keeping up with the Kardashians. For once in a long time, I’m starting to feel good about my body— even when it’s not perfectly thin or trained.
